


That's Klingon For I Love You

by teenybirdy



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Don't copy to another site, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Pick-Up Lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 14:03:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20310712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenybirdy/pseuds/teenybirdy
Summary: Andy takes the time to try to show Miranda how much she likes her, with the help of a pick-up line or two.





	That's Klingon For I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> This one's for SarahShalomDavid, from a request for a fluffy prompt over on Facebook's DWP - MirAndy page.

Miranda was seriously oblivious to my charms, of that I am certain. How many pick-up lines did I have to throw at the woman before she got the hint and snogged my face off? I mean, seriously.

My wooing of Miranda Priestly had, admittedly, started as a dare, one I was willing to meet head-on in my vodka haze. It seemed like a fantastic opportunity to win my woman, thus granting me my heart's desire. How hard could it be? I was a wordsmith after all.

It was Emily who set down the challenge, and I experienced the overpowering urge to prove the uptight redhead wrong, especially since her scathing comments about me _'mooning' _over someone who was way out of my league were often muttered within Miranda's hearing.

My comments started innocently enough, with me cracking a large smile as she walked past me the following Monday morning, almost throwing the book into my hands as she shrugged her jacket off and launched in onto Emily's desk.

"When I'm around you I can't think straight," I muttered to her retreating back.

I felt the blush rushing up my cheeks and cursed my fair skin for what seemed like the gazillionth time since I joined Runway. My blushing had taken on a life of its own since I developed feelings for my sexy, enigmatic boss.

On that first day, Miranda's head turned and she shot me a ferocious glare. You know, one of those face-melting glares that makes you wonder if she truly has murderous tendencies which would make the rumour that she throws assistants from her 17th story window true.

"Andrea, I need you on your a-game today. Try to kick whatever little brain-matter you have into gear." Miranda looked around her office. "Where's my coffee?"

"Uh...I..." I heard Emily's heels clacking behind me. "...right here." I grabbed the steaming travel mug from Emily's hand and placed it carefully in its usual spot.

"That's all." Miranda murmured.

I knew the score. I retreated from her inner-lair as fast as my 5-inch Jimmy Choos would allow.

Over the following days, I ramped things up, causing Nigel, Serena and Emily to have to hide their sniggering behind coughs. If Miranda wondered about the sudden uncontrollable coughing she said nothing, continuing to cut us down with her usual poise.

"Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!" Nothing. Surely she heard me.

"You must be a choir director because you make my heart sing!" Miranda stared at me blankly. God, it was frustrating.

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." Uugh, what did I have to say to get a reaction from this impossible woman?

"If God made anything more beautiful than you, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself." There was a slight flicker, a twitch of perfect lips before they pursed. Oh, fuck.

"That suit is very becoming on you. Then again..." A pause. "I would be too." Again, nothing. I shook my head, it took me ages to think that one up.

"Do you know what'd look good on you?" Nothing, not even the suggestion she had heard me. "Me."

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Girlfriend material." I was becoming desperate, so sue me.

"You have a nice face, like the kind of face you want to see on the cover of Runway." An arched eyebrow. Woo-hoo! Finally!

Back to the fashion quips, I continued with them in the hope I would get some reaction.

"You look good in that shirt, but you would look better with it off." Nope!

"I'm wearing Revlon Colorstay Lipstick, d'ya want to help me test the claim that it won't kiss off?" An eye-roll. My mind started singing. Hallelujah, hallelujah, hal-le-lu-jaaaaah!

"Andrea, did you fall and smack your pretty little head?" Miranda drawled. "What is wrong with you today?"

One day, I glanced down at her from my position by her side and caught a glimpse of her cleavage. I was done for. I tore my eyes away and noticed Miranda's lips twitching and amusement lighting up her eyes. Maybe she wasn't as impervious to my charms as one may think.

I had hope, I learned to live on it.

"I can't help it. My eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your breasts!" I muttered almost breathlessly.

The next day I tried something new, hoping she would fall into my trap. "Hey, Miranda. Do you have a Band-Aid?" I asked.

She seemed to answer me without thinking. "No why?"

"Because I just scraped my knee falling for you." I gave her one of my biggest smiles and finally got a solid reaction.

Miranda's eyes widened and she stared at me as if she had never seen me before. "Andrea, I..." Miranda stuttered. "...that's all."

Bingo!

It was the twins who finally helped me out. And that was the moment I also found out Miranda Priestly has one or two very well hidden foibles.

**~x~**

I became a little perplexed about my changing feelings for Andrea, but I could not pinpoint a reason for it. She had been her usual sprightly, annoying self and yet there was something different. A spark of something. An attraction, for want of a better word.

I continually told myself that the young woman wasn't any more alluring than usual and yet I found myself taking my time in my perusal of her each morning, before meeting her eyes and giving her one of my subtle nods of approval.

Perhaps I simply needed to take some vacation time. I knew it was long overdue, and I could seriously use some time away from the madness that my life had become. And yet I hated the very idea of being away from Runway and missing the sunny smiles of my Andrea, whose presence calmed me in a way no other ever had.

My beautiful Andrea. Oh, how I wished she was actually mine. In the darkest recesses of my mind each night as I slept, I dreamt of the beautiful young woman, but it was hopeless. She could never be interested in me, the Devil in Prada.

I thought, perhaps, I had been pushing myself too hard after the events in Paris. Maybe this new distraction, in the shape of my very lovely assistant, was simply due to my separation from Stephen or maybe from a mid-life crisis.

It took a few weeks before Andrea's random comments began filtering through my consciousness and I started to wonder what it all meant.

"There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you." Andrea murmured as she bent to point to where she needed my signature.

It had to be a joke, surely?

Nigel hid his laughter behind a cough but it was enough to make me ignore the brunette. The ridiculous man continued to snigger like a little schoolboy throughout our meeting which infuriated me.

I must admit I had noted the casual words uttered almost sweetly, often in the presence of Emily, Serena or Nigel. But I was unable to react to them as I might if we were two strangers in some dark bar, dancing close together.

Andrea was my assistant and it would be vastly inappropriate for me to act upon my hidden desire. And yet, the beautiful smile that always followed her words often held me captive and my eyes unconsciously follow her as she moved from my office.

I did my utmost to forget the small flirtation, unwilling to rise to Andrea's clear baiting. I just wished I knew what she wanted from me.

The young woman was completely maddening. Andrea's eyes held so much affection when they met mine and also an underlying passion when she gazed at me. She became entranced by the swell of my breasts, biting her lips and I noticed how her thighs clenched together.

It was that passion I wanted to tap in to. I wished that I could find myself wrapped in her arms, her long legs tangled in mine, my tongue...

Oh, Dear Lord, I needed to get a grip.

My days continued, as they always did, somewhat efficiently with small disruptions from Irving and my staff's incompetence. I often heard Emily sniping at Andrea or Nigel teasing her almost mercilessly, and yet I did nothing to stop it. I hoped Andrea may, after a time, get fed up and decide to leave us. It would be a blessed relief. The thought also concerned me.

Her year passed and she was still with me, which allowed Emily to move to a position in the art department under Nigel. Andrea replaced herself with another efficient young woman, who could, at least, get my coffee order right and knew how to spell Gabbana.

Thanks to Andrea, I was able to relish the extra time I got to spend with my Bobbsey's. They were growing up far too quickly and had struck up an unlikely friendship of sorts with my first assistant.

It stunned me that they seemed to look up to her and I often heard their giggles from the top of the stairs when she entered the house each evening with the book. It offered yet another touch of lightness to my world.

I was not impervious to Andrea's many charms. In fact, it became increasingly hard to remain stony-faced when she caught me unaware with her various chat-up lines.

"You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent." I refused to allow the comment to register and would not let myself attempt to work out its meaning.

"There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them has ever been in your presence."

I could not allow Andrea to break down my defences. She was one of very few who had truly seen me vulnerable and it gave her a power she was not aware she held.

I continued to reflect on the beautiful young woman, sometimes finding myself inadvertently falling into one of her lines. It surprised me every time but when it happened, she offered me one of her brightest smiles and I felt myself melting under her warmth.

I could imagine the headlines should I pursue something with the impossible young woman. She was half my age, and somehow she had bypassed my usual icy barriers and found the woman underneath.

"If I were to look into the Mirror of Erised, I'd see the two of us together."

I laughed so hard at that one, albeit when the young woman was out of my presence. She was truly a unique person and I took absolute delight in her.

Offering her a small smile the following morning, Andrea gave me the most beautiful compliment I have ever received. "Your smile is like Expelliarmus. Simple but disarming."

How did she know, like my Bobbsey's, just how enamoured I was with J.K Rowling's magical world?

When I achieved the impossible, once again, she spoke softly in my ear. "Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind-blowing?"

Andrea had struck gold, and she somehow knew it. She continued to offer her words

"Did you make me your Horcrux? Because my heart stopped when I met you."

It was from one strange Saturday afternoon, where I had demanded Andrea bring me ice-cream, that I realised she was very much into science fiction. I glanced over her casual attire and realised she wore a Star Trek t-shirt.

I decided I would play Andrea at her own game using my Sci-Fi knowledge.

"Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on stunning." The glorious blush on her face was worth the effort of finding just the right words.

I continued to offer her teasing words, toying with her and I admit I revelled in her confusion.

"Scanners show sexy life forms in this area," I whispered into her ear on our way into the elevator. She stalled and I stepped into the metal box and pressed the ground floor. It was only when I stopped the elevator doors from closing that she found her bearings and stepped beside me. "Oh, it's only you."

I hid my amusement behind my sunglasses as her mouth opened and closed in disbelief.

The next day Andrea was stunned into silence by me, a rare occurrence for sure. "I would gladly go where no man has gone before."

"Are you from the holodeck? Because you're too beautiful to be real." Andrea spun on her heel, clearly not expecting me to have snuck up behind her in the closet.

Her eyes roamed my face, and I could not put my usual mask into place. Whatever she saw in my eyes set off a chain reaction that has brought us to today.

She pushed forward and I stepped away quickly until I hit the wall. And then she kissed me like I have never been kissed before.

**~x~**

Miranda smiled at her wife. "You ridiculous woman."

"I may be ridiculous., but you love me anyway." Andy grinned broadly.

"Yes, I do. More than words could ever describe." Miranda admitted.

"Urkuk lu Stalga," Andy smirked at her blank look. "That's Klingon for I love you, baby."

"Completely ridiculous." Miranda breathed, unable to stop her wide smile as Janeway and Seven of Nine spoke on their large widescreen TV.

**Captain Janeway:** "You _ARE _with your own kind - humans."

**Seven of Nine:** "I don't remember being human."

**Fin**


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